I cannot believe it has taken this long to post. The New Year came in inspiring change I would have liked to share, but then I allowed distractions to veer me off course.
Here's what happened.
A lovely little snow storm dumped seven inches of snow on us, seven inches we helped my mother dig out from which also meant sleeping over at hers. We ended up losing heat on the second floor of her house and had to call in the gas company for a fix so that we wouldn't freeze our butts off later on in the night. The visit from the gas company thickened the plot when we were informed we would need a plumber for a mechanical issue growing worse. The start of the plumber search handed us a curve ball when we discovered my mother's house has a defective modem, hence no internet and no posting.
Though the detour has been most interesting, I have managed to keep my mind on wanting to write and, wanting to write about something and seeing we are very near the end of the 12 days of Christmas, I thought it would be fitting to discuss friends.
In the days following the holiday, I messaged a friend on Facebook who I was very close to while we were at school in England. Matthew and I since that time have drifted apart. Life lent a hand but I definitely played my part not being as open and considerate as I should've been. Always regretting this I finally worked up the nerve to ask if I could write him and he accepted.
I met Matthew at a birthday party for a now mutual friend when we lived in a dorm at school. Since the moment he asked me about taking out a liquor stain of a t-shirt, we've talked and spent a good deal of time together, a few of the times turned into adventures like the time me and a few of our friends played look out for him as he ripped a dress code sign off of a night club doorway. Another time we took home a traffic cone.
Matthew and I would listen to the new singles he scored from iTunes, his love for the new tech, procrastinating on course work and spying. Where we lived there was a small quad that other students would walk through and hang out in making them unintended subjects in people watching. Matthew would report to me and our friends his exploits while at Promo, a weekly club fave.
It seemed our friendship would only grow stronger as time went on. He paid my application fee when we applied to live together the following school year. He even shared his food with me when I couldn't shop for myself.
If I could relive those moments exactly, I would never have taken advantage of his care and concern for me. I would have paid him back the fee money as soon as we got to school. I would have and should have shown him more appreciation than what I did. And after those things happened we didn't stop being friends although i started to feel less trusted. In hindsight, I deserved it and suffering the strain our relationship took when I chose to spend more time with my husband when he was my boyfriend without being upfront about it, or attempting to strike a balance between the two. Over time, I felt alienated by my own choices and living with our mutual friend and friends of theirs, it wasn't long before I became wrongfully resentful. I was an asshole.
If we can reconnect, I will feel lucky and super blessed to keep Matthew as a friend beyond Facebook. I tell you this story because today, especially today it seems so easy to make and lose friends. You can make a friend under false pretenses just to bully them through voice, paper or electronically. But a real friend is hard to make and even harder to keep. You have to be able to appreciate the differences that define you individually and foster the similarities that bind you. Matthew is one of seven of the realest friends I've ever had.
The New Year came in inspiring change. I am changing the course of my friendships. I have only just begun but I hope if you are reading this out there, you too can earn back and keep what you think you may have lost.
Happy 2014.
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