Sacrifices

Last night around 1130pm, Michael and I got into an argument over money.  We argued because I thought we should cancel our personal training sessions at our gym.  Michael thought we would be able to afford the sessions, and even created a budget where monthly spending on these sessions were factored in.  However, on the weeks the personal training sessions would be taken out of our bank account, we would fall into the red.  And, the red is bad.

Months earlier, the color of our account status wasn't important to me since we were both seeing green.  As a verbatim hearing recorder transcribing cases heard by administrative law judges for the Social Security Administration earned me $50 for every case that went to hearing.  In any given month I could, and did earn $500-$2500.  When I got paid we lived like kings for days worry free because Michael earns a weekly check.  And, as long as our bills were being paid we were cool.
Then, a scent began to linger too long in the air.  The scent although comely became a problem.  For me.
Any person who knows me personally has experienced my fragrance.  I am a lover of fragrance, buying and wearing.  I turned my husband into a fragrance wearer as I grew up with a true connoisseur of cologne, my dad.  Every employment experience  I've gone through had absolutely no issue with my fragrance or the kind I used.  Even working in the poorly ventilated SSA hearing rooms, those who occupied the room with me had no issue with my perfume.  But, when a change in the administrative law judge roster paired me with a judge with more sensitive nasal passages then mine, I soon enough found myself jobless because of my perfume.

Michael and I took the new adjustment in stride unprepared for the reality check we would receive.  When it came, we decided to plan our budget wisely and spend within and at times, underneath our means.  We also agreed I wouldn't have to return to work to focus my energy on creative writing.

Last night after our money kerfuffle ended, I lulled myself to sleep perusing the want ads on indeed.com.  I began to wonder if the sacrifice of me not working is enough to prevent more financial debates.

I want to write.  It may not reward us with wealth of any kind right now, but time and effort will eventually tell the tale of success if I play my cards right.

I think about how things could have been different for me at work had I not been stubborn about my fragrance.  Already understanding there would be clients with respiratory difficulties at hearings, I wore a light perfume.  It wasn't enough even though there were clients, expert witnesses, client representatives, translators, advocates and a few client relatives that occupied the room I did with no issue, many fragranced and a few stronger than mine.  It was a nit-pick struggle I lost because I hate being nit-picked.  Sixth graders nit-pick.  Moms, dads and grandparents nit-pick.  The workplace should be void of it.  Still, I'd be employed if I allowed myself to be nit-picked.  I'd also be careless with my money if I was still employed, because I allowed myself to be nit-picked.  Michael and I would still be living with my mother because of our financial carelessness if I were still employed because I allowed myself to be nit-picked.  Dizzying, isn't it?
How about this:
Thanks to what some might call a fruitless sacrifice of losing my job, Mike and I have our own flat with a reasonable rent bill including amenities.  We can afford to food shop, have internet and, enjoy Chinese Food Sunday on Michael's wage alone.
We sacrifice the "perfection" two incomes might afford us because Michael believes in my ability to communicate through the written word.  This perfection includes restful nights sleep, start to finish.  Cork and a sleep sounds machine currently help us achieve the aforementioned as we have neighbors who think they are porn stars and apparently want us and, anyone else who hears to know.  It's cringe-worthy.  We know sex is happening on the other side of the wall but J. Louis Vuitton Christ, it sounds like live surgery with no drugs is going on instead.
I digress.

Last night, Michael and I fought over money.  Today, we saved money canceling our personal training sessions.  Sacrifice may not be comfortable but we are $120 up.